FPL Stats of Shithousery | GW6 Team of the Weak

A human wrecking ball of a game week. The FPL GW6 average was just 42, and the Twitter average is even lower. Dive in quick before some twat posts a 60-point week and says “it ain’t much”

Blog written by @HinduMonkey, do follow him on Twitter.

Literal bastards of humanity.

Let’s do this.

FPL GW6 Team of the Weak

MESLIER – 4.5 – LEE

After a solid start to the season, Leeds ran aground at Brentford in a ragged, wretched defensive performance of old. Meslier, who recently asked for a pair of adult-sized gloves for the first time after hitting puberty, used them to pick the ball out of the net. Five times.

FPL GW6 Team of the Weak ~ Defenders

JAMES – 6.0 – CHE

Ordered to “start the fit James” by randomly authoritative content creators – owners everywhere were left disappointed once again, seemingly ignorant to the fact that Chelsea don’t really do clean sheets anymore. So much disappointment, so much regret…

COOK – 4.5 – NFO

Alleged defender Steve Cook continues to get picked for Nottingham Forest, despite the club signing 253 players in the transfer window. Cook is still only 31, despite turning 40 about 5 years ago. He hasn’t made a tackle in 3 hours. Does he know what his fucking job is?

THOMAS – 4.3 – LEI

An own goal and two conceded within the first half hour, Leicester’s backline continues to give their attack almost zero chance of winning a match; by defending like a set of drunk sailors who’ve just found dry land for the first time in months.

GABRIEL – 5.1 – ARS

Look… I don’t want to say that Saliba (left) did the majority of the work… because Gabriel (right) once put in an interception. 

To lose one goal to a high line counter against Utd may be regarded as a misfortune, but to lose two looks like carelessness.

Three is flat-out incompetence.

FPL GW6 Team of the Weak ~ Midfielders

DIAZ – 8.2 – LIV

Few players will ever register higher on the xLively scale, but this was a selfish, often clueless display by the Liverpool forward. He completed zero successful dribbles, zero successful crosses and managed zero shots on target.

He’s just a South American Theo Walcott.

FODEN – 8.0 – MCI

Foden has blown hot and cold often in successive minutes this season. Here he failed to create a single chance in 90 minutes, despite playing most of it up against 37-year-old Ashley Young. His heat map suggesting he would get spanked if he entered the box, so instead just shagged the touchline.

MADLEY – 3PTS – CHE

In a weekend filled with dreadful officiating, none slunk lower into the corner of shame than Andrew Madley’s decision to deny West Ham a clearly legitimate equaliser against Chelsea. 

Corruption as open as a televised Tory husting.

West Ham were fisted so hard they could have been a sock puppet.

MADDISON – 7.9 – LEI

Still at the club and wandering around like he’s better than everyone there. Which he usually is… but not today. Maddison was horribly at fault for the first goal, boasted a pass completion rate of barely 80% and had zero shots and created zero chances.

If he was an animal he’d be a fucking blobfish.

SON – 11.7 – TOT

Yet to score this season, Son has now had 22 attempts with just 7 even finding the target. By his standards this is an epidemic of xG incompetence. I’ve been told if I say “form” a fairy dies. 

But he is chronically out of form.

Plus fairies are pricks.

FPL GW6 Team of the Weak ~ Forwards

ADAMS – 6.4 – SOU

Oh Che, presented with the opportunity of scoring from 2 yards out, he instead handled the ball. 

He cost himself a goal, his team a point, and missed the chance of condemning Andy Martin to the car crash his bench boost deserved.

I think we all know which of those is the biggest fuck up…

SUMMARY

Thank fuck that’s over. Awful stuff. And now we have a round of midweek European matches to fuck with us. Get ready for rotation, injuries, conspiracy theories, and people crying that they inexplicably took a minus 4 last night.

Still, could be worse. Could have bench boosted for Jonny.

See you next week, do drop me a follow on Twitter @HinduMonkey.

Further reads from ALLABOUTFPL ahead of FPL GW7

FPL GW7 Transfer Trends, Best Transfer Combinations & Tips
FPL Gameweek 7 Transfer Tips: Two Players to Buy, Hold and Sell
FPL GW7 Differential Picks to Consider Ahead of GW7 Deadline
FPL GW7 Scout Picks | FPLDaggaFC & AllAboutFPL
Predicted GW7 Lineups of All 20 Premier League Teams
FPL GW7 Fixtures & Players To Target | Best Matchups | FPL Paz
FPL GW7 Wildcard Team & Drafts To Consider | Wildcard Guide
FPL GW7 Ultimate Guide: Tips, Differentials, Captaincy & More
FPL Stats of Shithousery | GW6 Team of the Weak

Link to all our FPL GW8 blogs including fixtures to target, predicted 11, differentials, captaincy metrics, transfer trends, and more. Completely free to access as well!

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