FPL Stats of Shithousery | GW10 Team of the Weak

Welcome to FPL Stats of Shithousery- GW10 Team of the Weak.

Blog written by @HinduMonkey, do follow him on Twitter.

FPL Stats of Shithousery presents

FPL GW10 Team of the Weak

Back from the dead like a reanimated corpse that no fucker on earth wanted to see wake up.

Let’s take a look at GW10. Or as I like to call it, Dante’s 7^th level of hell.

RAYA – 4.5 – BRE

A hapless away performance from the random form generator that is Brentford, culminating in a complete howler from their keeper.

He played like a discarded, snot ridden tissue that was blown into the sewers on a gentle breeze of incompetence.

Or alternatively… he was crap.

Further Read: FPL GW10 Team Wise Review, Key Stats & Notes

FPL GW10 Team of the Weak ~ Defenders

TAA – 7.3 – LIV

Currently the 19^th best right back in a league which includes Neco Williams, Trent didn’t even last beyond the half way point here. By which stage he had already been totally outclassed by Gabriel Martinelli.

Imagine playing a wildcard and removing Cancelo for him. Just imagine?

You’d just kill yourself, wouldn’t you.

GUEHI – 4.3 – CRY

Oh look, here’s that Palace clean sheet everybody claimed was due despite the stats showing that they give up chances at absolute will… and it’s gone.

Who could possibly have seen that coming.

Don’t worry, they have Leicester next. They never score…

COOPER – 4.4 – LEE

Leeds may have tightened up a little at Elland Road, but away from their home ground they have conceded 10 goals in 4 matches and generally defend with the nous of a drunken samurai who has replaced his blades for breadsticks.

Don’t buy their defenders. Ever.

KWP – 4.5 – SOU

The only thing keeping Saints up this season is Nottingham Forest, Wolves shooting and Danny Ward’s keeping. This is a wretched, almost aimless side that could be coached by Mark Hughes on current form.

KWP has amassed 10 points in 9 matches and may as well just be a fucking Roomba

Further Read: FPL GW10 Team Wise Review, Key Stats & Notes

FPL GW10 Team of the Weak ~ Attackers

TROSSARD – 6.8 – BHA

Lionel Messi when I don’t own him, Alex Iwobi when I do… Trossard was so ineffective against Spurs that models predict it would have taken him 1,530 minutes before he scored (actually true)

What’s that? Iwobi curled one in top bins and all?

Oh fucking hell what is happening.

MADDISON – 8.2 – LEI

Electric in the last match, seemingly recovering from electrocution in this one… James Maddison wandered around the pitch with all the threat of a schoolyard bully who’d been held back several years for not being able to pass maths.

Booked for no reason as per.

SALAH – 12.3 – LIV

It’s hard to know where confidence begins and lethargy ends, but Salah’s substitution after barely an hour was entirely deserved for a player who is currently playing with the menace of a pine martin

Look at his little face… HIS FUCKING BIB!

He could not give less of a toss.

ZAHA – 7.4 – CRY

Few players remain less defined by their fixtures as Wilf Zaha. Predicting his hauls are like navigating the Kessel Run. Against Leeds he was as quiet as a church mouse post the communion wine.

To think, some people wildcarded into a template midfield of these 4 players…

HAALAND – 15.5M – MCI

Just one goal in an otherwise routine kick about with the lads, questions now have to be asked if Haaland’s career is in danger of freefall. Hit the post when he would have scored just last week.

Thankfully for worried owners everywhere… he’s got Liverpool next.

COSTA – 5.5 – WOL

10 touches, 4 completed passes, an xGA of 0.0

I’m not saying Diego Costa had a quiet game on his return to Chelsea, but I walked downstairs to take a piss during half time and got more exercise than he did.

SUMMARY

This has been a wretched, variance drenched fortnight for several players. It’s okay to sometimes take a step back and remember this is just a game.

I deactivated for 48 hours this weekend due to a combination of abuse and having the ranks of prominent content creators rammed down my throat with the sensitivity of a breached horse.

If FPL becomes a problem, it’s okay to reach out, ask for help and look to find ways to make it less so.

It’s fine to take a break, and don’t let anybody tell your otherwise.

There will always be people who want to tell you what to do. Don’t listen to them.

Especially if they’re called Gundo.

Oh and remember, those unnamed prominent content creators may have a 3 figure OR whilst yours might be 7.

But they don’t have your fucking hairline.

One love. HM.

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Further reads from ALLABOUTFPL ahead of FPL GW12

FPL Blank Gameweek 12 Planning | How to Handle Blank GW12?

Link to all our FPL GW12 blogs including GW12 Blank Planning, Fixtures to target, Predicted GW12 Lineups, Differentials, Captaincy metrics, transfer trends, and more. Completely free to access as well!

What’s next from ALLABOUTFPL ahead of FPL Gameweek 11 of the 2022/23 FPL Season?

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